He was tall with dark hair and slim. He reminded me of me a lifetime ago. Just like me back then, he was in blue jeans and a white T-shirt every day I saw him at the coffee shop. His nose was buried in his computer, and I figured he was studying at the local community college like so many who came in there regularly. I wish I’d gotten to know him, but you know how that goes...strangers in a room with no reason to interact and all. But one day I happened to be at the cash register early when he came in to order his coffee. The attractive female barista smiled and said hello to him and for some reason made mention of the fact that he was wearing his white T-shirt and jeans, and that she knew him because that’s what he always wore. I thought it was a bit off to bring that up. Too personal and could be interpreted as a slam. He was quiet, but he seemed to take it without obvious offense and trotted off to work on his computer and drink his coffee. The interesting part to me is that I never saw him again in that coffee shop from that day on. In fact, he didn’t stay long even that day. I looked up from my coffee as my computer was booting up and he was gone already.
I can’t help wondering if that casual comment by the barista insulted him and made him feel weird or lesser in some way and that’s why he disappeared. I certainly might have done that, or maybe worn a different shirt occasionally, if I had decided to continue to go there. I think it was thoughtless and perhaps rude of the girl to say what she said, and I would have been uncomfortable, offended, or perhaps even painfully embarrassed if she’d said it to me back in the day. But I suspect she never thought of it that way. She probably didn’t know how to engage appropriately. I even suspect she was coyly maybe trying to get his attention by paying attention to him in a special way. Lord knows in this day and age of computers and devices people don’t get as much practice interacting in person and learning the rules of the road in social skills. (I still remember the day in a similar coffee shop watching four teenage girls sitting on a couch texting and sending emojis to each other rather than talking, even though their butts were all touching.) Ultimately, the outcome with the T-shirt guy made me sad. I’m not exactly sure why, other than I could see myself in his shoes. I still wonder today how he is doing and where he hangs out...if he still has the courage (or the shirts) to do so anywhere in public.
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Greg
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